He says...
In a conformist world, married people are discouraged, forbidden even
from having true friendships with members of the opposite sex. It
hardly ever happens. There are always barriers to the friendship.
As a bloke you may THINK you're friends with your friend's wife, but
are you really? Chances are she's an extension of your buddy,
somebody who is around when you socialise with him. You may
drink together, laugh together, have a really good time together, but
can you really sit and do those things one on one, make proper meaningful eye contact and the like? Couples friendly
with couples is exactly that, two on two. When the equation changes,
the dynamic and friendship changes too and probably fizzles out one way
or another.
There may be good reasons for that. How many inter-gender
friendships can remain truly platonic? Where there exists attributes
that translate to physical desirability in the eye of both beholders,
how long before platonic deep friendship breeds chemistry? And then
how long before chemistry breeds desire, and so on.
I'm not saying it's all wrong, that Mr Rocker is right and the world
should change and we should all be free to pursue as many deep
friendships with the opposite sex as humanly possible. That's just
not realistic. Jealousy, insecurity, suspicion, dishonourable intent
and any number of other negative things will put paid to that. What I am saying though is that having a relationship with Mrs Rocker that
is free of jealousy, insecurity, suspicion and dishonourable intent
has given me the most amazing opportunity to befriend women in a way
that very few married men have had the opportunity to do. And no, I
don't mean on a level that leads to having sex with them! It's an
awesome thing to be able to converse and interact with women on all levels.
I suspect it's the same for Mrs Rocker. It's a relatively new thing
for us as a couple to have this all this freedom to socialise with
opposite gender friends, but it really is quite liberating and we
always seem to have so much to talk about when one of us has had a
night out (or even in) with a good friend.
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