Sometimes love hurts

Of all the emotions we experience as human beings, love has to be the one that brings the most joy to our lives.  We all know people who do not have enough love in their lives or who have had to experience the heartache of a love gone wrong, lost or gone unreturned. It can be absolutely devastating and some people never recover from it.  

The joy that love brings to your life is unequalled.  The overwhelming love that I feel for my children, the love we have for our families and friends or the life-defining love that I have for Mr Rocker - remove any of these from my life and I would be a lesser person.

Experiencing love is made possible by being open to feeling it.   That emotional availability has a flipside – emotional vulnerability.  By being open to love, by its very nature, you open yourself to the possibility of emotional pain.  It is the pain of love that makes some love bad for us.  Being hurt time and time again by those who think they love you and show you that love, can be absolutely soul destroying.  

I love whole-heartedly (I openly acknowledge that I am a person of extremes) and absolutely and as a result I always run the potential of being badly hurt.  I wish I were different.  I look around me and see people who are able to go through their lives on a far more even keel, they have far less of a rollercoaster ride than me. 

Yesterday I had a moment of clarity when I realized that I only get to ride to ride that rollercoaster if I buy a ticket.  I can only be hurt by you if I let you into my heart.  If I choose to NOT be open to your selfish and conditional love then it cannot hurt me.  Lesson learnt.  Taken a while, but learnt all the same. 

You don’t get to hurt me if I don’t keep looking for your love.  Your love is bad for me.  I am no longer buying a ticket.  I don’t actually NEED your love, I thought I wanted it, but hell how it’s hurt.  You don’t get to hurt me anymore.  

If you choose to love me and it’s good and healthy, then my life will be richer for it.  If you cannot give love selflessly and openly, then my life will no poorer.  You, on the other hand, will never get to experience the true joy of love because you have no idea how to give with a free heart, never mind receive.