What's a Web Log if it doesn't chronicle real life developments every now and then. So allow me to divert from my normal habit of blogging crackpot alternative amateur sociological/sexuality theories.
This time last year the Rockers were bracing themselves for what they knew would be a challenging and pivotal year. It turned out to be exactly that, and then some. Despite the fear, we were fresh-faced, stoic, matter-of-fact, we had to do what we had to do. While I've always travelled extensively for my work, 2010 was set to take it to a whole new level of craziness. We committed to living and working in separate countries. I would commute internationally and spend as much time as possible at home, which turned out to be precious little. Maybe between 2 and 3 nights out of 7 under the familial roof with long periods up to a month away. I didn't even have a set of house keys. I used to ring the bell to be let in for my conjugal visitation rights!
But here we sit, 12 months down the line, having spend a blissful week together. Very much intact. And then some. We not only survived it, we emerged stronger.
Why?
- Trust. This has never been an issue between us. You need it in bucket loads if you're going to spend the majority of your relationship in separate countries. Everybody assumes a travelling businessman cheats. I don't cheat. I think it has something to do with my belief that the Male Ego is The Curse Of The World and my quest to live my life ego-free. It's amazing how good a life that has been. Perhaps we take our trust for granted, we see so many relationships compromised by a lack in that department.
- I always came home whenever I could. My air travel cost an arm and a leg but it was never an inconvenience to go home, only a joy.
- We were protective of the little time that we had together, we especially put up boundaries to annoying aunts and uncles and siblings who wanted to impinge upon our few opportunities to be a proper couple and family. For our efforts we were labelled as “wrapped up in each other”. Cuts me up!
- We stayed in touch and spoke daily, thanks to the wonders of internet and web cams. (And no we didn't do cyber-sex or webcam sex, not for us thanks, our real sex is way to good to settle for some pixelly non-tactile substitute, but we did frequently indulge in some quite risque online chat. Not trashy cyber-sex type stuff, just swapping ideas on sexuality, sex, turn ons, sharing racey web links. We learnt a lot about each other in the process and we look to reap the benefits of that in 2011 and beyond.
That all being said...
We couldn't have carried on for ever. It would have destroyed us eventually.
We have another maybe 6 weeks of the craziness and then a completely new chapter of altogether different craziness to look forward to- New businesses, a major new investment to nurse to profitability and the trauma of sending our children away to school.
Like I said, what's a web log if I can't bore you with life's mundane details now and then?
Not bored, nor was it mundane! Don't you just love hearing what makes other marriages tick?!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to you guys for surviving!
Having done the long distance thing, I completely understand what you say. I used to travel 4 hours on a train, on a Friday night, fall into bed, spend Saturday together, and then leave mid Sunday for another 4 hour train ride. It was expensive but worth it at the time.
ReplyDeleteI did have a three thousand mile romance, and that was kept honest by daily phone calls and emails. To make a go of it, I then moved the three thousand miles to be with her, and still am! Love is worth anything!
You're so right. Love and the right person are worth anything. Having said that, I'm still so grateful that this is all coming to an end - Mr R has always been, and continues to be, the best company and I really missed being with him. There's nothing in the world better than waking up with the person that you love.
ReplyDeleteMundane? Are you kidding me?
ReplyDeleteJust like L-L-P i hold your relationship in the highest esteem. I adore reading your blog, it is fast becoming one of my favourites, because it gives two halves of a perfect circle. You are so united in tone and voice, the closeness of your relationship is obvious, and all this despite very difficult circumstances.
Here's to a great new chapter in rockerworld.
M2Mx