Bad boys are for fucking: the follow-up

 He Says...

Some time back I blogged about the speculation surrounding Mrs Rocker's cousin and whether she would marry Mr Nice Guy or gravitate back to the Bad Boys for whom she seemed to have more of an affinity. You can read here. I wrote a little about why all girls need a Bad Boy in their lives to offset the predictability of Mr Pipe-and-slippers-sensible-family-sedan-nice guy-in-a-bow-tie. Well, there has been a further development. The Rockers were on the verge of booking their air tickets and relishing the opportunity to use the excuse of a family wedding to go and misbehave in another Big Bad City, as well as... ahem... pay our respects to the bride and groom of course. The dates were fixed but the invitation never came. We waited and waited and then started asking questions before clicking on the “Book Now” button for air tickets. Stoney silence. “Aha!” I exclaimed! Sandra has shrunk away from old leather crustiness in favour of tassled leather-clad men and riding pillion on Harleys.

The real story was a little more complicated it turns out, but nonetheless blogworthy...

It turns out, there has been a bit of a fall-out between Sandra and future Posh Mum-in-Law. Now Mrs Mum-Posh has been a little look-down-the-nose at humble-beginnings-wrong-side-of-the-tracks Sandra (who by the way is a spunky funky feisty chick who I think is awesome), as only future mum-in-laws can be. The tacit disapproval has manifested itself as interference and general unpleasantness. But the crowning turd in the water pipe, the nil plus ultra of mom-in-law heinous crimes against future daughter-in-law was that one morning while Sandra was at work, Mrs Posh let herself into her son and Sandra's home and redecorated their main bedroom with new curtains, bedding and other soft furnishings.

If at this stage there are any young men reading and thinking “Way cool! What's the big deal?” pull up a chair my friend, you have a lot to learn...

First of all- Don't EVER underestimate just how territorial women are.

Secondly- A couple's bedroom should be the inner-most private untouchable sanctum. Nobody should trespass there let alone redecorate it. It's a couple's haven, their retreat, their boudoir. Can you imagine a poor Sandra lying flat on her back being shagged senseless all the while staring up at the floral curtains her mother-in-law snuck in to put up, having ripped down the ones that were already there?

As a 40 year old man married for 15 years, I realise only too acutely now the spectre that a husband's mother poses for a prospective or current wife. But I didn't always and I was probably one of the young guys for which the heinous significance of the bedroom-redecorating stunt would have gone completely over my head. But what's this blog about if it can't dispense wisdom to young guys who would like their princesses to be perpetually wanton?

So there are two noteworthy points I'd like to make here-

1) Mums of Sons- try to remember how you were as a young prospective mate to the boy of your dreams and treat your future daughter-in-laws the way you would wish to have been treated at the time regardless of the fact that you have given birth to and raised your beloved son who is now about to leave you for somebody else.

2) Husbands and Husbands-to-be- Don't laugh off the magnitude of what a big deal your mother is, what a huge spectre in your wife/girlfriend's life she actually is. If you want your wife/wife-to-be to become and remain an insatiable sex-vixen, however harsh it sounds, your mum needs to be demoted to a distant no. 2 amongst the women in your life. And for heaven sake, don't condone your mom ripping down your wife's décor and replacing it with her own in your boudoir.

Mothers of Bad Boys would never do such a stupid thing, if only because they are either in jail or rehab. But that's preferable to what poor Sandra has had to endure.