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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Getting the facts straight


She says…..

Now that Mr Rocker has not so gently alluded to the fact that our relationship has been “extended” somewhat, let’s not beat around the bush any longer.

Yes, we still adore each other. 

No, we are no longer mutually exclusive or monogamist. 

No, we are not in any danger of falling apart.

No, it’s not cheap or trashy or sordid. 

Yes, we are totally discreet and not forcing our unusual lifestyle choice on anyone.

Yes, we are still one of the strongest couples we know.

These are the facts:

We both have a significant other in our lives.  Let’s call them Jack and Jill for simplicity’s sake.  We all know each other and get along famously. We spend time together, Jack and Jill play golf together while Mr Rocker and I have a cuddle.  Nothing has changed about us except for the fact that we both have other partners who have added much joy, humour and passion to our lives.

I have known Jack for eight months.  We literally met across a crowded room and made contact a few days later.  The attraction was instant. Have you ever met someone or made eye contact with them and felt that kind of attraction?  In the “ordinary” world I have, but you brush this aside as it’s not acceptable to act upon it if you’re married.  Suddenly, given the level of freedom and trust that Mr Rocker and I have bestowed upon each other, this overwhelming attraction was there for me to take hold of and see where it goes.  And boy, has it gone places…..

Jack is an absolute gentleman - funny, entertaining, kind and hellishly sexy. Him and Mr Rocker have become firm mates too - what more could a girl ask for?  I am lucky enough to be involved with two of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet.

If I am so happy with Mr Rocker, you may ask, why do I have this other man in my life?  Good question.  The answer?  Because I can!  Loving somebody enough to set them free to other emotional attachments is a foreign concept to many (who am I kidding, foreign to most) but it has been a totally liberating experience.  Jack knows me as no one other than for the woman he saw and was attracted to.  No other perceptions of me, no other roles in my life to consider, just pure attraction and affection.  He asks nothing of me except my time and to have fun with him.   He also is hugely respectful of my life and especially my relationship with Mr Rocker.  Any involvement with him would not be possible if he were any kind of threat to what Mr Rocker and I share. Mr Rocker is my partner for life, and what a wonderful life it is.

We have known Jill for a number of years.  She has always been on the periphery of our circle of friends and she and I had business dealings.  If I’d been the one choosing a partner for Mr Rocker, which I certainly did not, a warmer, more free-spirited and fun person I could never have found.  They have the most amazing chemistry.  Watching it, it’s almost as if you can reach out and touch it.  If we could bottle it, we’d be millionaires!  An evening spent with them always leaves me with cheeks aching from laughter.  

Jill is truly special and I’m proud to call her my friend.  She has brought out the carefree, fun-loving man that I met and fell in love with all those years ago but who has also become my husband, father of my children and business partner.  Every one of those roles has its responsibilities and these of necessity change our relationship with our loved ones.  He is no less the man I love, but Jill has given him back his passion.  She asks absolutely nothing of him other than to treat her well, laugh with her and keep the good times coming.  He adores her and she feels exactly the same about him. 

I have no doubt that Mr Rocker will be posting in response to this and his perceptions will give more insight into this unusual arrangement. 

I also have no doubt that we will be hearing from shocked friends (who have known nothing of this).  All I ask is that you tread lightly friends, this is not for everyone, but it works for us. 

When these relationships end, Mr Rocker and I will be there to comfort each other and see what happens next.

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